My Mom sent me this today in an email. Best laugh I had all day. Thanks Mom! Love you!
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Light travels faster than sound... this is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
When you go into court... you are putting yourself In the hands of 12 people... who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
He who laughs last... thinks slowest.
Change is inevitable... except from a vending machine.
Those who live by the sword... get shot by those who don't.
Nothing is foolproof... to a sufficiently talented fool.
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right... there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end... someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them... five or six at a time... on a hill... in the fog.
If the shoe fits... get another one just like it.
The things that come to those who wait... will be the things left by those who got there first.
Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
( ..and, cute sayings for those who love the philosophy of hypocrisy and ambiguity... )
Don't sweat the petty things... and don't pet the sweaty things.
Atheism is a 'non-prophet' organization.
If man evolved from monkeys and apes... why do we still have monkeys and apes?
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman... "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me... it would defeat the purpose.
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
If a deaf person swears... does his mother wash his hands with soap
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself... is it considered a hostage situation?
FIN :-)
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